1 – How did you grow? Identify the positive and negative traits and think about what life lessons you learned from them?
2- Are you grateful for things or people? Make a top 5 list of people to whom you are always grateful and why.
3- Did you set and maintain any high standards for your inner self?
4- How many times did you seek inspiration and motivation?
5 – Are you doing quality work?
6- Do you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset?
7- Do you love and appreciate yourself?
8- Do you appreciate others for their selfless helps?
9- Are you going behind money or inner happiness?
10- Have you ever been satisfied with what you have?
According to me, Self-assessment is an effective thinking exercise that encourages an individual to become more responsible. This helps to consider their actions and reflect on it. We thereby start to know our own potential, learn to accept, and improve our mindset. With an improved mindset and learning practice, we gain more confidence to face our challenges.
Growing From “No I Can’t ” to “Yes I Can”.
We get ready to welcome changes that create a positive attitude in the inner-self and thus favoring lifelong learning. It is a psychological exercise for self-development. Learning or Knowing about ourselves is the basis for our happiness and the sole responsibility lies only on us.
There are things which weigh you down many times and you feel your energy level to be low and life to be sulking. These are mainly due to emotional luggage hanging inside you. Are you gonna live your life weighing with these emotional things. No right?
Just unshackle them enough to destroy that emotional luggage by becoming emotionally matured. So here, with these 10 signs, learn where you are emotionally immature and work out on that area and become a strong emotionally matured person.
1- People who are dependent on others for all reasons.
Such people will face difficulties in making even their everyday decisions. Here I mean with everyday decisions and not any major decisions( where we definitely need suggestions from others). They will always require advice, assurance, and validation from others. They hesitate to decide because of fear and being wrong. Finally, they end up with their life being controlled by others.
2 – Inability to be alone
People with this inability will easily become anxious even thinking about being alone. They become deeply distressed and anxious about being alone. At some point in life, everyone needs to be alone, and one should be ready to accept it and face it boldly. Sometimes being alone will make you do more productive works and makes you love yourself more. I consider it as a time to understand your inner-self. Being lonelier is worse than being alone.
3- All talk only and no action.
You must have met many people who talk so sweetly and makes you do their work. But when it comes to reality they will be the first one either to procrastinate or to escape it. They keep on talking about doing something but never takes action or follow through. Because they don’t have the maturity to start anything new.
4 – Being Selfish or aloof.
Here it mainly means lacking consideration for others, and being concerned with only one’s own pleasure and profit. Actually, this will cause your happiness to decrease in the long run. Selfish or aloof people are ready for taking all and giving nothing back. They are always selfish in demanding help but they never credit it. The fun fact is they get angry when that is pointed out.
5 – Finding it hard to communicate their emotions.
These people might be extremely sensitive even to the smallest issues. Sometimes, unexpressed emotions can be due to the result of hurt in the past, as a result, they start thinking that the best thing is to just say nothing.
Due to fear of rejection, many avoid conflicts and never open up their emotions. Also, they find it frustrated to deal with their emotions all the time. This will definitely change their decision-making ability and also erodes their self-esteem.
6- Control freaks
These people are generally perfectionists. Whatever work it may be they will be convinced only if they do it by themselves and will not give opportunities to others. They roam with the thought that ” it is done right only by themselves ” and also that they are the only capable people in doing it. They seem to be helpful and concerned but they really are not. Sometimes due to the fear of losing their authority or position they might even go to the extent of doing any nasty tricks.
7- They are Manipulative.
These people will never opt for a compromise. For them, compromise is either like a loss of power or loss of something precious. So, they always try to manipulate people to get back their power or things. They are loaded with tonnes of manipulative skills. Most of them will charmingly act to get much information and discredit them behind.
8- Irresponsible and sulk often
An Irresponsible person will live with a low level of mental happiness and a high level of depression and stress. They are not committed and are with full of ego. They don’t have any personal satisfaction and gratitude for others.
Many times, when a most trusted or loved person hurts us emotionally, the first thing we do is sulking. When the concerned person asks us the reason why we are sad or disturbed, we generally deny it as nothing happened. We simply need the other person to understand things magically without explanation and resolve it. This is also a character of an emotionally immature person. This Passive aggressiveness should never ruin your relationship.
9- Not Trustworthy
Friends sharing information are common. But people who are trustworthy and good listeners will never reveal confidential or personal secrets, however tempting it might be. Hence try to be someone who can be trusted and reveal secrets without any fear of it getting out.
10- Being Hot-Tempered
“Fighting or shouting without understanding what the situation is” is the motto of a hot-tempered person. They do not give a pause or some time to think about the situation. As a result, they don’t get time to work out their anger and their problems will not be solved reasonably. There are many reasons for getting angry soon like conflicts, betrayal, miscommunication, not so friendly, misunderstanding, strangers, etc. It all depends on the situations we face and the good solution comes only by delaying the need to get rid of the problem quickly.
Thus when a person can accept their weakness, faults and recognizes their strength, positive qualities, then they are ready to experience strong self-worth and high self-esteem – Schutte et al.(2002)
The way to know and study your emotions, managing it however the circumstances is known as Emotional Maturity. In simple words, we can say that as ” Understanding the Emotions”. It can be either intrapersonal (our own emotions) or interpersonal ( other’s emotions).
Happiness is when ” what you think, say and do are in harmony” – Mahatma Gandhi
According to me, this is a skill that is like a base for developing emotional maturity. Life in this modern era is more materialistic, more comfortable, and increasing unhappiness. Even children have advanced exposures almost to everything today.
But, are they really ready to handle those exposures emotionally?
Life is experienced right from the time we are born. We then grow, adapt to this life with help from others. We slowly start to learn our emotions and work on them to get the final result to be happiness and satisfaction. Every time when that happens we definitely feel the relaxation, right.
One of the prime reasons for many crimes is not being able to control the emotions. So, it’s very important to learn to control emotions right from childhood, be it good times and bad times. It’s very important to develop an understanding of right and wrong.
For example, when a kid/person steals something or assaults someone, he/she doesn’t know whether it’s right or wrong. That action by the kid/person is due to his/her emotional outburst. It requires a little Emotional Maturity for that kid/person to comprehend that it is wrong to steal or assault or curse others, which needs to be taught to them by their parents or elders or the society around them. Hence always create a positive and friendly environment for kid’s growth and make them understand between right and wrong.
People with good emotional maturity are mostly honest, trustworthy, truthful, independent, punctual, have good social adjustments, help others without any expectations, have a positive attitude, have self-esteem, lead a meaningful and satisfied life.
Basic 5 key traits of Emotional Maturity
1- Understand that life is difficult and learn ways to face it boldly and positively.
2- Be more passionate to develop self. Any change to happen should first come from within.
3- Learn to develop a sense of trust in God or in-universe either in self or in life.
4- With enough hard work, patience, and persistence, you develop the habit of a positive attitude.
5- Whatever you do be committed, responsible, and truthful.
To live the best of your life in making conscious decisions, try making these 5 traits like habits, as being emotionally matured is purely our choice. Because as a human we need to be emotionally matured to take care of our self, our family, our time, our finances, our personal life, our society, our country, and our world.
Our life is what we make it
To know how mature you are, click here and get your score.
You must have noticed and surprised by many children who behave mature enough for their age. You must have also met many elders or adults who behave childishly or act immaturely. Does maturity depend on age? I say “NO”. First, let us be honest with ourselves and answer the questions given below and get the basic score of our maturity.
The way you handle the arguments or a disagreement with your family, friends, loved ones, neighbors are, A) I tend to remain calm controlling my anger, and listen to them first. B) I ignore the situation and go out from that Place. C) I shout at them, make my opinions clear, and make them accept it.
The way you make your decisions are, A) Based on characters and situations. B) Based on feelings. C) Based on profits that are got back in return
The way you prioritize is, A) Being aware and considerate of other’s needs. B) Being aware and considerate of society. C) Being aware and considerate of my needs.
The way you want your relationship is, A) Trust each other, very few fights, never regret being with them. B) Should be useful and Profitable for each other. C) Take them for granted.
How do you think, like think as “WE” OR “I” A) Almost every time thinking as “WE” B) Sometimes “WE” sometimes “I” C) Almost every time thinking like ” I”
The way you respond to tough situations is, A) Take responsibility and Continue to do what is right in spite of criticisms. B) Just cry and blame others ( People, God, Fate). C) Get shaken up by criticisms and do without any thinking or run away.
The way you commit is, A) Respect and maintain a healthy long-term commitment. B) Commit according to desires. C) Commit only when there is a need.
If you are wrong, you A) Recognize and admit it, also definitely apologize. B) Just shout at others, belittle them, insult them, and ignore being judged. C) What you did was right, thinking that you can never be wrong.
The way you treat other’s success is, A) Appreciate their contribution, hard work, and honor them. B) Just tell all the success was their luck. C) Never accept it as success and never appreciates it.
The way you show wisdom and gratitude is, A) Learn from others too, thanks to all that you have, selfless help. B) Feel ashamed to learn from others, not concerned to show thankfulness. C) Presume they are wiser than others and judge others always.
If your answers are “A” – then 5 marks, “B” – then 3 marks, “C” – then 1 mark.
My score is – 40/50. Similarly, let me know your scores too. Each one of us is not perfect. We keep on growing and learning in each and every situation. We may have been immature too sometimes, but reflecting from that guiltiness is a precious thing. I’m sure that we all are definitely searching the positive ways to change our immature behaviors and try not to repeat them. If you have faced any such experience, I would like you to share those via the comment section.
Let’s be a strength to each other and lift up our lives in a positive way.
With a new day comes new strength and new thoughts
– from brainyquote.com by Eleanor Roosevelt
Every day is a gift for us. Definitely, it’s good news as we are provided with lots of opportunities to achieve and to try many new things that can make us happier. Many times we often blame others or situations for our unhappiness. But this is not true. We are responsible for our own happiness. It all happens only with the way we think. THINKING IS DIRECTLY RELATED TO HORMONEPRODUCTION
Idea is that we need to boost the production of our Happy Hormones only to a point where we will feel good or make ourselves relaxed, happy, and satisfied. Neither more nor less, as overproduction of these Happy Hormones also has its own disadvantages.
Ways to Hack Serotonin
SYMPTOMS of Low or No Serotonin – Loneliness and Depression, unhealthy attention-seeking behaviors.
Tips for hacking –
1- Expose yourself to the sun (Vitamin D) for 10 minutes.
2- Think about your Past achievements.
3- Feel how significant you are.
4- Practice gratitude.
5- Re-live the good things you have experienced.
6- Take a walk and breathe in your favorite place.
7- Admire nature’s beauty.
8- Appreciate and love yourself.
Ways to Hack Dopamine
SYMPTOMS of Low or No Dopamine – Less or no enthusiasm, Procrastination, low self-esteem, and self-doubting our abilities.
Tips for hacking –
1- Create small-small goals and achieve them.
2- Recognize those achievements and gift or compliment yourself.
3- Create new goals before achieving the old one and keep on accomplishing it.
Ways to Hack Endorphins
SYMPTOMS of Low or No Endorphins – Pains and Aches, sleeping troubles, increased anxiety, stress.
Tips for hacking –
1- Regular Exercises.
2- Laughing therapies (All ways to laugh deep from your heart). For example seeing comedy series or shows, reading comics, sharing jokes with friends, or even just being with friends brings us the laughs, being around humorous people, etc.
3- Getting a good aromatherapy massage, smell of lavenders, and some dark chocolates too, do their part of endorphin production.
Ways to Hack Oxytocin
SYMPTOMS of Low or No Oxytocin – No love, stress, fear to communicate or socialize, low libido, no trust.
Tips to hack –
1- Play with babies.
2- Getaway with your loved one ( hubby, fiance, boyfriend ).
3- Have a romantic day or trip or at least a walk.
4- Try hugging your loved ones.
So, What are you waiting for! Just check which Happy Hormones you are lacking and try boosting it with those above tips whenever needed. You totally deserve your happiness. Though life shows lots of ups and downs, stay healthy Physically and Mentally with lots of happiness within. . Don’t ever stop learning to “Stay Happy“.
How do you feel today? What are the reasons of the way you feel? The mood which you have or which you show, directly depends upon the hormones you produce. You can simply hack the production capacity of your happy hormones and make your mood happy. Read more to find how to hack the happy hormones and change your mood.
The family of happy hormones includes Dopamine, Serotonin, Endorphin, Oxytoxin.
A feel-good hormone, a neurotransmitter, an important part of brain’s reward system. It is the celebrity star among the other happy hormones. This creates pleasurable sensations and makes you come back for more. So, whenever you are happy, feeling good and feel accomplished, thank your brain for producing good amount of dopamine. The easy way to increase your dopamine level is to accomplish something ( Set and achieve any milestone).
A happiness hormone, a neurotransmitter. Responsible for regulating your mood, sleep, appetite, digestion, learning ability and memory too. So, whenever you have good sleeps, good digestion and happy learning you should know that your serotonin is doing great. So, for an instant increase in your Serotonin hormone ,a tip is to do meditation and pranayama.
A pain killer hormone( means it blocks Pain signals). This hormone acts as a natural Pain reliever. Acts against your stress and discomfort. By eating your favorite healthy food and working out, you can increase your Endorphin hormone production.
A Love hormone. This hormone promotes trust and bonding in relationships. This also plays a very important role during child-birth and breastfeeding. Whenever you see your crush, your loved one or someone who attracts you, your oxytocin starts producing in an ample way. So, hugging, kissing and cuddling with your loved onesboosts the production of your oxytocin hormone.
Hope you understood the basic natures of these happy brain chemicals. Interesting ideas of hacking these happy brain chemicals will be published in the next post.
“The Secret to Happiness…Be Satisfied and Be Grateful” – Mitch Albom
How true friends!
There are many instances where people or things or situations make you happy, sad, irritated, angry, and even go Insane. Of all the feelings you have, have you ever analyzed yourQuotient of Satisfaction?
Like how satisfied you are in every kind of emotion. If no, then try analyzing from now on.
Yes, Satisfaction is a Motivator and an important part of one’s quality. It is the art of creating positive for every negative. Satisfaction depends upon the Individual’s environment, nature, and behavior.
Going down let us learn How to focus on Self-Satisfaction and lead a tension-free life.
Who Are Satisfied People?
No one is perfect in this world. But people who are aware of their situations and accept life perfectly and positively are satisfied people. They spend their life being grateful for what they are, for what they have.
Many such people always either Motivate others or be Self-Motivator. They are not money minded. They devote themselves to prayers, writings, or doing any creative, and calm works that make their mind happy. They always feed their Mind with Powerful Positive thinkings.
How to Focus on Satisfied living?
To focus on anything is easy, but being Consistent, and Persistent in it is the toughest part. It needs strict discipline and a powerful mind to focus on the long run. (Don’t you accept it?)
Even a small seed focuses on coming out, then it becomes a Plant. After all the difficulties it has seen in life with consistency and persistence, it succeeds into a very big, and strong tree. This way you should also be having a very strong focus and strong will power in achieving a Satisfied Living.
Now let’s see what to do to focus on satisfied living.
What to Do to Focus on Satisfied Living?
It’s very simple. Just bring some small changes in your lifestyle as follows.
By following these Active Lifestyle Habits, you can definitely Improve your Life Satisfaction. As a result, your Quality of life Improves.
Is A Satisfied Life Better Than a Successful Life?
So, which is more important to you, Success or Satisfaction?
Yes, you are right, its satisfaction.
In Latin “Satisfaction” means “to make” or “to do Enough”. Satisfaction is decided on your own, like your own mind, soul, and heart. But Success is measured only by others. Satisfaction is an Emotional Interaction throughout your life. Without Satisfaction, none can lead a peaceful and happy life. It just clears out all your tensions, anxieties, worries of your daily life.
“Be Happy and Satisfied,
Becoz the Life
We are Living is
Dream Life for Others”
Factors Affecting Satisfied Living
There are many factors affecting Satisfied Living. You can find some of the Important and highly discussed factors below.
Personal needs – This includes all the Physiological and Psychological needs.
Environmental needs – This includes all family relationships and social relationships.
Educational needs – This includes the degrees, jobs.
Financial needs – This includes money and savings.
Personality needs – This includes all mental and physical health needs.
A Person is said to be Happy only if he/she is Satisfied in all aspects of life.
So, always choose a life of having a Satisfaction of Simple Desires. This ultimately gives you lasting pleasures. Friends focus on Satisfied Living thereby improving the quality of your life and happiness.
I would like you to take this “Satisfied Living” as a Challenge and try ways to focus on it for a month at least. I am Very Eager to Hear all Your Results.
What I did these 6 days (October 12-October 16,2020) apart from my normal routine life? Yes, like you I was also searching to do something from home usefully. Just googled a lot about what to do [If Google was really a human, it would definitely kick me out for torturing it].
My ghost mind wanted to feed it something of valuable source apart from k-dramas. Suddenly Saturday night (10/10/2020) by 8.30 PM my Instagram page showed me the “ Content Vidhya Ad” – 6 days of the content writing course.
Their landing page ad very well explained all the details. So I signed up within the next hour to give this course a try.
What Did You Learn?
I learnt all those concepts mentioned below in a very smart way.
How You Enjoyed Assignments?
Wow! Ramya, even you know to write like this. Where were you all these days my pretty mind? After writing assignments, reading it again and again, torturing my pitiful husband to read it again and again, I finally happily submitted it.
I felt like I have achieved something. My heart and mind were very much relaxed and happy. Never know till now that writing can make you heal and create a new person in you. I even showed more love for my family, felt lots of satisfaction mentally.
How Well You Utilized Time?
Time was just flying. Time earlier was going like a tortoise, especially after this covid-19 lockdown. During these 6 days of content writing course by Team Content Vidhya, time was running like a rabbit.
Seriously I had no trash thinking, the one and only thinking was how to write, what to write, what to include, etc. For me, it was like a therapy session.
The first day I was like an LKG student with no knowledge about writing. But now after submitting my assignments I feel like I have passed the 12th standard, such were my challenges.
I found a new me. I was even amazed at the efficiency with which I balanced my home life, class, assignments to submit in time. Thinking and selecting a topic, developing it, and concluding it, all was just like magic. The toughest challenge was to find my Niche.
That nervousness to click the publish icon was another great challenge for me.
Finally, I took the first step to attend this 6 Days of content writing course by Team Content Vidhya, the 2nd, 3rd steps went on automatically. It made me open a blog and publish my writing. Uma Madhavi mam and her team are no less than magicians(as she even made me write).
I am a woman who was even afraid to write an essay and show it to others. But this course has pushed me to take the courage to publish my writings. Now with this courage, I am stepping into this world of writing. Thank you Content Vidhya and Team.
Then I welcome you to dive into my first “fictional situation writing” ( 2 mint read).
Nikitha(35 yrs), an IT by Profession, was reading a storybook of “Flintstone” to her 5 yr old son Mukhil. It was their routine nighttime reading. Mukhil was so much into the story that he said,” God, I wish to live in the stone age.”, soon they slept.
The next morning they woke up in a cave. Yes, Mukhil’s wish was granted by our god. Nikitha and Mukhil woke up to the sound of the singings of beautiful birds. They thought it was their dream and were very happy enjoying nature.
But no, their time has traveled back to the stone age. The reality just hit Nikitha. She was totally confused, worried, cried a lot, feared a lot, and was literally praying god. She was running here and there to search for phone booths, people whom she can speak with. Mukhil also got frightened and cried a lot.
“Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be ” – teensbooklet.tumbler.com
Days passed, Nikitha was slowly adapting to fate and started learning things from other stone-age nomads. On the contrary, Mukhil started to love his stone-age life. There were no worries for him, no stress to either read, learn, or write. He was just playing all the time, doing activities of his likes, he was into exploring, laughing, totally he loved there.
The Importance of Practical Learning
Their life was almost practical every day, that became an effective way of learning for Mukhil. He learned,
To flake and even made some spears.
To hunt fishes, birds, hares along other nomads.
To climb trees, he even plucked fruits and leaves.
To swim with no fear, help others, teach what he knows
To socialize and he mostly stayed happy.
He was very busy learning adventures. But deep inside he was missing his father and grandparents.
Here Nikitha was trying to live among the nomads, as her only lifeline now was her son. She was worried about his safety a lot. Though she started loving the nomads for their pure love, at the bottom of her heart she missed her family a lot and was longing for them. She cried a lot and prayed a lot.
How to live even without money, hospitals, schools, gadgets, luxuries, ego.
How to live a very simple yet happy life with gratitude.
How to socialize and live in a group.
She was astonished by the way the nomads behaved with them. She was thankful for how they openly accepted them in their large group. How each and everyone was selfless and took care of everything without any expectations.
How they lead their life in a proper way in all aspects. They all sing and dance together, hunt food, and always share it together. She even wondered the way they lived with nature which was in abundance there. She even forgot the word pollution.
Indeed she was satisfied a lot with this life. The only thing that was biting her was her family. She wanted them also to be here and live this amazing life.
As days passed Mukhil also started to miss his father and grandparents badly. That night before sleeping he prayed to god that how he wished he could see his family. He cried and slept with those dreams.
The next day morning Nikitha and Mukhil slowly got up to the sound of a large temple bell and were really shocked to see them in their home bedroom. They both became super happy to see Mukhil’s father sleeping beside. They immediately hugged him.
“Live for the moments you can’t put into words” – David Archeluta
Though they missed their nomadic life, they have brought back a bunch of wonderful lessons and stories that they have learned. Yes, all those which they have learned it from those hardworking and loving stone-age ancestors. Nikitha lot of the time thanked God for his kindness and she was filled with full of gratitude.
Would you also like to go back to live in stone-age like Nikitha and Mukhil?